Sunday, April 3, 2011

My Webpage and My Ass

I work with a Social Media consultant in our business. She, luckily for me, happens to be my friend. And, she’s a little geeky. By “geeky”, I mean she understands things like “coding”, “search engine optimization” and “google analytics”.

And I like her anyway.

The other day she wants to tell me there is a problem with the coding of our website. (I don’t know what she actually said. It was all said very quickly and in Croatian, I’m pretty sure.)

Partway through the emergency phone meeting, (let’s just say I was involuntarily doing Kegels from the fear of how much money this “problem” was going to cost me), I stop her and say: Uh, you need to slow down. I don’t understand. And it might be very helpful if you took a brief moment to tell me my ass looks great right now. (In these baggy, worn-out Yoga pants.)

She pauses. (Cuz she can get very wound up when she speaks her own special Computer Nerd Language.)

I hear her little brain processing . . . processing . . . processing.

Then she responds: Your ass looks FANTASTIC!

And we move on. Well, she moves on.

I move to cut another check.

But every conversation we’ve had for the past four days? She slips a compliment about my ass in somewhere.

And I’m finding I’m much calmer about the problems and the cost of solving them.

Now, if I can just train my kids to do the same thing, when I am yelling at them about picking up their shoes!

Can you imagine? “Mommy, by the way, have I told you today that your bottom looks really, really pretty in those black stretch pants you wear every day?”

Uh, yeah. That would work for me!


  1. I couldn't agree more- you look awesome in those pants.

  2. Hey, Sweetie, I picked up that glass for your mosaic yesterday. And, you know what? It really, REALLY makes your butt look small! You're gona love this glass... rhymes with ass.... perfect!


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