Sunday, May 8, 2011
Happy Mother’s Day Mama.
My Mama has been gone for five years.
And she wasn’t in the best place the five years before that.
She was my Mama and I loved her. And she loved me.
I was an adopted girl (just like my two daughters). My parents were 40. (I remember 40, that’s when we adopted our Blondie. And back then? We called her Baldie.)
I was an only child. (Something my oldest can only long for!)
And I was the light of my parents’ lives. And I knew it.
So here is the most important thing my Mother taught me, that I am trying to teach my daughters:
Things will always look better in the morning.
When all of us are falling apart at night, I ask my girls – What was it that Gammy always said? I knew we had it wrong when Blondie answered: “I’ll give you something to cry about—right, Mommy?”
Well, yes . . . that was one of the things Gammy said, but I meant the other thing she said ALL THE TIME!
This is the mantra in our house (the” morning” thing, not the “something to cry about” thing). So many things can trigger a bedtime meltdown. And my girls can have a bad time at bedtime also. (Bah da bing.)
And doesn’t everyone’s anxieties come out at night? Or is that just me cuz I watch too many scary, crime procedural shows.
My husband and I often lie in bed at night at 10:00 and worry about our business, or a staff problem or a client issue. I have to grab his hand and say, “Remember what my Mom always said! We can deal with this tomorrow.”
And in the morning? Nothing is as looming.
My mother gave me many other gifts: stability, music and dance lessons, great schools, a dog, a college education, freedom, independence and some (often misplaced) trust, along with a lot of self confidence. (The self-confidence thing? I may have been born with some of that.)
I knew who I was, where I came from and that I was loved. Loved AND the most important thing in the world to two people, no matter where I went or whatever stupid choices I made. (Hey, my 20’s were a little rough.)
These are the gifts I so desperately want to pass along to my daughters. Along with always remembering that “Things will look better in the morning.”
So on Mother’s Day? I say, “I love you, Mama!”
Happy Mother’s Day.