Sunday, October 13, 2013

Back to School G Forces

What the hell is it about Back to School?

Why is this so demanding of our family?

I’M not going back to school.

I don’t need to find cute clothes that fit-in with my peer group.

Though I do think I should add a pair (or two) of Back to School shoes to my wardrobe, dammit.  (Hello Michael Kors. I love you.)

I thought I deserved some sort of medal for the Back to School shopping.  For those of you who enjoy Target and the Mall right before school starts? Well, I envy resent you.

And all the calendar requests dinging through. 

I feel like I’m in a rocket ship and my jowls are flapping up around my ears.

Every day.

Morning, noon and night.

I don’t know if it is because my advocacy work is all education focused and that all fires up at the same time?

Sept 15 and October 15th are major deadlines in our Accounting Firm?

Cuz in Palm Springs everyone hides until summer is over and now summer is over?

(Just in case you are wondering, summer did almost kill me.  Oh, you weren’t wondering?)

Back to School nights, getting to know you meetings, playground issues, Marching Band, tutoring sessions, first projects, first assignments and my little Glowie?  She’s in the fifth grade and HAS FORGOTTEN EVERY SINGLE MULITIPLICATION TABLE.  Okay, not every one.  She knows the zeros, ones and twos.  #shit

So that’s it? 

People who scoff, and say:  you can’t be THAT busy.  Come to our event.  Why,  I want to shoot them.  (Which is why I believe in gun control.)

People who say… it’s just a couple of hours…I feel so misunderstood.

And please.  PLEASE don’t comment about my lack of grooming these days.  That shit? Out the window.

Now the first appointment I AM going to make when I catch my breath?

Mama needs some filler.  A few syringes of restalyne to fill those jowls in and keep them where they belong.

Under my chin.

In my martini glass.

My ears?  I’ll save them for some nice dangly earrings, thank you very much.