Thursday, July 24, 2014

I wrote this a few years ago, but I just read it while I was enjoying (napping) myself in the mountains.  Still true today...we are still classy trailer people.  But of course I never yell at my dogs or my children! #givemeonemomentspeaceplease #andquityouryapping

Connected . . .  Weird

It is effing hot in Palm Springs in the summer.  You think you understand, but unless it is blazing into the 110’s and above . . . uh, you don’t.  And don’t tell me it’s a dry heat either. Cuz Baby, that is a load of crap when it is 123 degrees in the shade!

I now understand why the summer population drops to like 204 people.  (But hey, you don’t need reservations to dine out!)

So we envision our “Vacation Getaway”:  You know, where we unload the car, breathe in the mountain air, and take the kids and the dogs for a walk?  Yeah, that’s the ticket. 

Hey, the stock market had taken a dive, so I thought that we’d be able to sweep in and pick up a lovely mountain cabin for mere chump change.  Baby, we are gonna be in like Flynn – I just KNOW it!

Turns out, I was the chump.

Oh yeah, you can pick a little something up. Of course it was a recently abandoned meth lab which needs “tender loving care” (i.e. calling the  Haz Mat Team). 

And did I mention the “Lake” thing? Turns out if you don’t buy a property with “Lake Rights” you can’t do shit in this place, except maybe stand somewhere and watch Other People boat, fish and swim. #longingly

So we gave up.

Until my husband read an ad in the local paper about a Mobile Home for sale. 

“Uh, I’m not getting a Trailer DUDE!” (Cuz you know, I’m snotty like that.)

Then he read me the price. Which INCLUDES Lake Rights. And a dock.

What? Holy Cow! Mecca Baby – Kids, get your coats, we’re going for a drive!

Then we got there.  The trailers were kinda close together, so I was worried about people hearing my constant yelling at my kids, you know, so they wouldn’t bother the neighbors. 

Or, yelling at the flipping dogs to shut up. So we’d be the people with the loud kids and the barking dogs and the harridan that was always YELLING at everyone.

Shit, all I needed was a cigarette hanging out of one side of my mouth while I yelled.  (I want you to know, I quit smoking cigarettes out of one side of my mouth DECADES ago!)

Then we find this one little trailer, all by itself, on a hill. And I had heart palpitations.

Cuz I could yell and my kids and my dogs and no one would call Social Services OR the SPCA.

But what really sold me? It had a little outside shower . . . I have some bizarre, unnatural love of bathing outdoors.  Claustrophobia mixed with a healthy dose of exhibitionism and there you go.   I was sold.

So we bought this little Trailer in the woods, bought a tempurpedic bed and lots of bright colored paint and carved out a little piece of nirvana.

And this weird thing has happened to us in this 700 square foot place. If you leave your shoes out,  it creates a Level 5 Hoarding situation. 

But oddly enough, we feel more connected as a family in this tiny little place. 

We can hear each other breathe, uh . . ., all the time.  We can hear the kids playing down in the creek.  We take walks together.

There is no Wii, but we did get Satellite. (I didn’t say I was a Saint, did I?) 

And there is fishing (May I just say: Thank God for the Kindle, cuz that fishing shit is BORING.)

There is something precious about being snowed in, and something magical about being out on the deck in the summer. 

And when we go back to our big ricocheting lives in Palm Springs, we yearn for our time together in the mountains.

Weird, right?

Thursday, July 10, 2014

The key to a GREAT summer? Why it’s the same way one survives parenthood. Martinis.

Here’s a few summer ‘tini recipes for you…not that I partake in alcoholic beverages often…#lying

Warning:  I like ‘em a bit sweet.  If you don’t, hey, you can make a martini with vermouth, and throw in a couple of olives on your own.  You don’t need my help for that!

Want to be all cultured and cosmopolitan? (By “Cosmopolitan” I mean worldy…not the drink on Sex and the City.  But that would be a great summer cocktail too!)

French Martini                    
1 1/2 oz vodka           
1/4 oz Chambord
1/4 oz pineapple juice
Garnish with lemon twist

Using summer fruit…well, not really the fruit, but hey…peach schnapps counts as a serving of fruit, doesn’t it?

Peach Martini         
1 oz vodka      
1 oz peach schnapps
1 oz cranberry juice
Splash Orange Juice

This isn’t cocktail…it’s an event.  I’d keep typing but I might need a little “Orange Julius” break.
Orange Julius           
1/3 cup frozen Orange Juice
1/3 cup vanilla ice cream
3 oz vanilla vodka
1 1/2 oz Grand Marnier

This Cantaloupe Martini is super easy, has no cantaloupe in it and tastes amazing.  Whip up a pitcher and lay out a melon baller.  People will think you were muddling cantaloupes all day.  (Note to self:  don’t say “muddling cantaloupe” in a sentence ever again.)

Cantaloupe Martini
2 oz vodka
2 oz OJ
2 oz Marie Bizzard Watermelon liquor

This is my favorite summer drink…but watch it…it can be sweet.  Which is all good, right? #yummy

Pear Martini
1/2 cup pear vodka
1 tbsp  Disaronno
1 tbsp  simple syrup
2 tbsp 7 up
Splash lemon juice

We used to drink these at the St. Regis on Dana Point.  You know, while making pretend we were part of the Real Housewives of Orange County…(Note to self:  call for more botox immediately.)

Key Lime Martini
1.5 oz vanilla vodka
.5 oz simple syrup
1 oz lime juice
Splash of sweet and sour
Whipped cream on top
Shake all together and pour!!!
Cinnamon and sugar on the rim

Got a favorite?  Share it, PLEASE! Cuz Martini-Lovers gotta stick together!

Happy Cocktailing!  Love, Dee Dee