Sunday, July 25, 2010

Hurry Up and Get in the Car!!! Oh Shit!

So this morning I am running my kids to day camp. Which is a nice way to say that the local Parks and Rec will take your kids, for $50 a week and provide fun child care. You know, so you can work and hopefully make more than the $50 it costs to send them there.

I had an interview at my house in an hour, so the morning was filled with screams of “pick up your stuff” and “if you don’t remember your bathing suit – YOU WON’T BE SWIMMING!”. You know, cherished morning stuff.

As I pull the car out of the driveway I look down and see I forgot to change my shoes. I have on a lovely summer paisley print dress with pink and yellows. So lovely.

And my shoes? Enormous zebra print orthopedic shoes. Well, no matter I think. I have to get them to camp.

So I march them in, and hold myself high amongst the other mothers, some wearing cute kahki pants and delicate flip flops, one mother wearing a sex secretary skirt and 5 inch heels. But I hold myself like I look amazing. Cuz that’s how I try to roll in my orthopedic shoes.

I wonder why one of the mother’s that I was trying to chat up kept looking at my lovely and voluptuous bosom. Hmm . . .

Well, I get home and realize the rather “orthopedic” bra that I chose was completely exposed in the dress. Like the neckline of the dress was below the cups.

Old lady bra, ridiculous shoes. Lovely interview dress.

I plan to look amazing when I go back for the 3 pm pick up! And by amazing I mean my bra won’t show and I’m leaving the zebra comfy shoes at home.


  1. It's posts like this that make me so glad I'm not a girl. It's too complicated.

  2. As always, you bring a big smile to me! That mom wishes she was voluptuous like you!

  3. This totally cracked me up. I call my routine the 5 minute mom. Lip gloss, deoderant, powder nose and chew some gum. I suppose matching clothes could help, too. :}

  4. it takes a true goddess to pull this look off, anyone can look cute in kahki capris and snazzy shoes, but this look only the upper echelon can manage. Congrats

  5. Roll with it, Baby! If Lady Gaga can get away with it, you sure as hell can too!

  6. Embrace the fashionista that you are!

  7. Thank you for acknowledging my misguided, but heartfelt quest for Fashionista! I gotta tell you - those Zebra shoes? HEAVEN for the feet!

    And Michael - Dude . . . well, I've got nothing. I think maybe you're right.

  8. Honey, you can hold your own anywhere. You just proved it!


Tell me what ya think, babe!