My 6 year old is strapped in her car seat, sitting in the car, which is sitting in the garage. She is screaming her little head off.
Why? Because I won’t take her to school this morning. Why? Because she didn’t get ready on time. Why? Because she was busy torturing her big sister (who DID get ready on time) and goofing off.
Am I a mean Mommy? You bet your sweet ass. Does it rip my heart out to hear her sobbing and begging to go to school? Yes indeedy (as my mother would have said).
Is this a lot of bloody work for me? Hell yeah. Is it worth is? I have no fucking idea.
But I am trying to do Big Picture Parenting. (I came up with that term. Should I trademark it?)
I am trying to think about not focusing on the moment, and looking instead to what kind of middle school kid will she be? Or high school student, if she can’t move her ass and get out the door. And if she’s going to be the one of our first female presidents, how will she run the White House effectively if she’s still strapped in her car seat?
She’s 6, you might gently remind me. Yeah, and she thinks she’s in love with the Jonas Brothers. If she can figure out the viewing schedule for the Disney Channel every day, hour by hour, then she can get ready for school on time.
I have a schedule, you know, shit I have to do. I have appointments and responsibilities, all which require prior bathing, teeth brushing, and foundation wear, dammit. If she ain’t ready on time, Mommy may start to be known as the woman with the special funk about her. I prefer to be hip and funkaay, not bag-lady ripe.
Does she get to do that? Well, obviously, YES. Will she do it again next week? I’m thinking, not so much. (Not holding my breath though.)
Cuz you know what she did for the hour she had to stay home, while I got my work done before my 9:15 appointment (and could CONVENIENTLY drop her at school on the way)?
I had her write sentences:
I will be ready on time. I will use my checklist. I will not fuck up Mommy’s morning schedule anymore. (Okay, I only thought that one!)
She had to give up her playground time and the fun morning part of school for this? Sucked for her. Sucked for me.
Big Picture Parenting. I’d rather be watching Big Love.
#I will stick to my guns. #I will stick to my guns. #I will stick to my guns.