Wednesday, February 17, 2010

It's Fucking Lent Already?

Lent. I usually give something up. Well . . . not chocolate, or red meat. (What? I wanna die during Lent?). One year my husband made his own Lenten discipline. He didn’t drink, except on Sunday. Sundays were a red-wine-filled “event” in our house.

No, what I usually give up is Swearing. It takes about three weeks for me to get it out of my system. If I’m really, really mad, then an inadvertent exception might be made.

And the most interesting thing about giving up swearing? At the end of Lent, when I go back to my frequent use of the “F” word, on EASTER mind you, I find it feels so exhilarating and thrilling to randomly be throwing swear words around. Lent definitely empowers the use of swearing the rest of the year.

But this year, unlike every other year, I have started blogging. How can I blog and not swear? How will people get who I really am without the edge of the Potty Mouth Words? Will people think I am one of those nicey, nicey Mommies, who just adore their cute and silly kids?

Cuz I’m not one of those Mommies. I am the Mommy that had no idea it was going to be this hard. I am the Mommy that actually feels invaded by my children. And I am not embarrassed to tell you, I am the Mommy with the VERY tidy house who can’t stand the detritus that comes with kids! And I am an old Mommy, very tired, very irritable, with a very short temper. I am a Mommy that swears. A lot. Cuz I’m mad and tired and things feel out of my control a lot. (I hate being out of control.)

So this year for Lent . . . maybe I can live without chocolate?

6 comments:

  1. Dear DeeView,
    I've met you. You are not old. I don't care if you swear. I don't care if you eat chocolate. Thank you for your blog posts - they are indeed quite funny.
    Dorothy

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  2. I love this:
    (Cuz I’m not one of those Mommies. I am the Mommy that had no idea it was going to be this hard. I am the Mommy that actually feels invaded by my children. And I am not embarrassed to tell you, I am the Mommy with the VERY tidy house who can’t stand the detritus that comes with kids!)
    I am quoting you because you are READING my mind! Thanks for being so readable and relatable!

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  3. Delanie! Thank you for the wonderful comment. Good to know we aren't alone!!! Kisses!

    Dorothy! Thank you for reading! I love it that you took the time. So we'll eat chocolate and laugh together! Perfect!

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  4. When I was growing up I always gave up "giving up" on lent because that was the only thing I could honestly try and do. Because I always quit something too soon. Like just recently I really wanted to quit my blog. And well it's Lent, I haven't been to church in over a year, so maybe I'll just reinstate my "no giving up" goal.
    My friend in college gave up meat (she's a big time meat eater). She survived the forty days on grilled cheese sandwiches. I think she might have dropped 10lbs, which she didn't need to.
    Anyway point is! Lent is funny to me. All the people come out of the wood work to stop eating meat on Fridays, and give something up. Me? I'm giving up giving up, for me. Not for Lent.
    Sorry for the long comment. I'm chatty this morning.

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  5. Giving up chocolate? When you're home with kids? C'mon now, that's just crazy talk.

    I'm giving up procrastination. I'll have a post up about that ... soon ... soonish. Yeah, I realize the humor and irony in this but I actually am serious!

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  6. OMG this is hilarious. The title alone.

    I usually say the F word in the car by myself (yes I talk to myself) or around my husband A LOT. I just hold it in. I'm a suppressed user of profanity.

    I'm giving up Cokes (not coke mind you...I thought I would have a heart attack the one time I tried vodka and Red Bull) for Lent. I gave up alcohol for 4 weeks in January and it didn't kill me. Miracles never cease! ;)

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Tell me what ya think, babe!